Growing Gratitude
Dr. Marilyn Sharpe has been an educator and advocate for helping parents become equipped to be the primary teachers of faith in their children's lives for many years. She has given presentations here at Bethlehem on this topic and will be here again during Lent to share her wisdom with all of us.
Today I lift up her current blog post on "Growing Gratitude" - enjoy!
It is not happiness that makes us grateful.
It's gratefulness that makes us happy.
David Steidal-Rast
Our children are growing up in a world that labels them materialistic, self-centered, and shallow, accusing them of demonstrating a raging sense of entitlement. Rather than bristling with defensiveness, let those of us, who have the privilege of shaping these children of God, help them learn to be grateful. How will we begin?
START WITH GOD: For the abundance of creation, for the gift of Jesus, for God's care for us every day of our lives, for others who leave Jesus' fingerprints all over us, thank God in prayer. For food on your table, a warm house, clothing that keeps you safe, a car that starts on a cold morning, a bus that comes on time, good friends, school and work, thank God. Make sure that your children hear you pray a prayer of thanksgiving to God for the gift of each child in your life.
MODEL IT: Children learn their most profound lessons by what they see and observe their adults doing. If there is ever a disconnect between what we say we value and what they see us doing, they will believe what we do. Let your children overhear you saying "thank you" to those who check you out at the grocery store, wait on you at the fast food counter, deliver your mail, and perform a hundred little daily services. Yes, it is their job, but voice your appreciation to them.
BEGIN WITH YOUR CHILD: Say "thank you" to your children, even if what they did is their chore or something you have asked them to do. Catch them being thoughtful and kind, extending themselves beyond what you expect. Let them know that you are grateful and that they are a vitally important part of your family. When your child comes home and tells you that they shared their lunch with a child who forgot hers, label it: "Thank you for being so generous." When one sibling shares a toy or dessert with another, label that "generous" and express your gratitude.
MAKE IT A CORE FAMILY VALUE: At the dinner table, in the car, or at your child's bedside, each of you can name the things for which you are grateful this day. Ask, "For what or for whom are you thankful today?" Talk about ways others have been generous with you and ways in which you can be generous with others. Write thank you notes, not just for gifts, but also for kindnesses received.
GIVE YOUR CHILD OPPORTUNITIES TO THANK OTHERS: If your child brings the teacher a Christmas present, help them practice saying, "Thank you for being my teacher," not simply putting it on the teacher's desk. Let your child be the one who thanks a service provider, like the salesman, who fitted your child's new shoes. Practice this ahead of time. Whisper a little reminder, if your child seems to have forgotten. Then, smile broadly at your child. Tell the child later that he has made you proud by expressing his gratitude.
PLAN FOR GRATEFUL ACTIONS TOGETHER: The love and thanks Jesus most appreciates is when we love one another as Jesus has loved us.. Say "thank you" to God by serving your neighbor. This is an opportunity for your family to do service together, thanking God Shovel snow for a neighbor who needs help. Offer a ride. Give a frazzled parent some free childcare. Ask for ideas from your congregation. Or go to Jenny Friedman's Doing Good Together website and subscribe to her monthly e-newsletter at www.doinggoodtogether.org
A NEW THANKSGIVING TRADITION FOR YOUR FAMILY: Give each person at your Thanksgiving dinner table a birthday candle to place in the dessert, as they name one thing for which each is grateful. Light the candles. On the count of three, say, "Thank you God for all these good things. Amen!" Then, let the youngest and oldest at your table blow out the candles. Savor the sweetness of your dessert and your gratitude.
Today I lift up her current blog post on "Growing Gratitude" - enjoy!
It is not happiness that makes us grateful.
It's gratefulness that makes us happy.
David Steidal-Rast
Our children are growing up in a world that labels them materialistic, self-centered, and shallow, accusing them of demonstrating a raging sense of entitlement. Rather than bristling with defensiveness, let those of us, who have the privilege of shaping these children of God, help them learn to be grateful. How will we begin?
START WITH GOD: For the abundance of creation, for the gift of Jesus, for God's care for us every day of our lives, for others who leave Jesus' fingerprints all over us, thank God in prayer. For food on your table, a warm house, clothing that keeps you safe, a car that starts on a cold morning, a bus that comes on time, good friends, school and work, thank God. Make sure that your children hear you pray a prayer of thanksgiving to God for the gift of each child in your life.
MODEL IT: Children learn their most profound lessons by what they see and observe their adults doing. If there is ever a disconnect between what we say we value and what they see us doing, they will believe what we do. Let your children overhear you saying "thank you" to those who check you out at the grocery store, wait on you at the fast food counter, deliver your mail, and perform a hundred little daily services. Yes, it is their job, but voice your appreciation to them.
BEGIN WITH YOUR CHILD: Say "thank you" to your children, even if what they did is their chore or something you have asked them to do. Catch them being thoughtful and kind, extending themselves beyond what you expect. Let them know that you are grateful and that they are a vitally important part of your family. When your child comes home and tells you that they shared their lunch with a child who forgot hers, label it: "Thank you for being so generous." When one sibling shares a toy or dessert with another, label that "generous" and express your gratitude.
MAKE IT A CORE FAMILY VALUE: At the dinner table, in the car, or at your child's bedside, each of you can name the things for which you are grateful this day. Ask, "For what or for whom are you thankful today?" Talk about ways others have been generous with you and ways in which you can be generous with others. Write thank you notes, not just for gifts, but also for kindnesses received.
GIVE YOUR CHILD OPPORTUNITIES TO THANK OTHERS: If your child brings the teacher a Christmas present, help them practice saying, "Thank you for being my teacher," not simply putting it on the teacher's desk. Let your child be the one who thanks a service provider, like the salesman, who fitted your child's new shoes. Practice this ahead of time. Whisper a little reminder, if your child seems to have forgotten. Then, smile broadly at your child. Tell the child later that he has made you proud by expressing his gratitude.
PLAN FOR GRATEFUL ACTIONS TOGETHER: The love and thanks Jesus most appreciates is when we love one another as Jesus has loved us.. Say "thank you" to God by serving your neighbor. This is an opportunity for your family to do service together, thanking God Shovel snow for a neighbor who needs help. Offer a ride. Give a frazzled parent some free childcare. Ask for ideas from your congregation. Or go to Jenny Friedman's Doing Good Together website and subscribe to her monthly e-newsletter at www.doinggoodtogether.org
A NEW THANKSGIVING TRADITION FOR YOUR FAMILY: Give each person at your Thanksgiving dinner table a birthday candle to place in the dessert, as they name one thing for which each is grateful. Light the candles. On the count of three, say, "Thank you God for all these good things. Amen!" Then, let the youngest and oldest at your table blow out the candles. Savor the sweetness of your dessert and your gratitude.